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It took nine hours. Nine hours reading a magazine comprised mostly of ads and editorials. Vogue‘s september issue is always excessively large – and I may have bought it for my flights home – even landing a documentary – The September Issue – which is fantastic.
Wendy Felton, a former editor, who writes the blog Glossed Over, spent a whole day reading the newest nine hundred and sixteen page Vogue. This is a task even the most dedicated fashion fanatic would not attempt.
Thirty-one minutes in she only reached the table of contents. She’s sassy, which at times can be amusing, but her main theme of the blog is her disappointment in magazines. (Why she spent nine hours sassing one is weird. This feels like overkill but I’m directing your attention to it so mission accomplished.) Some of her comments are unnecessary but there’s nine hours worth of writing here so there is always room for some worthlessness.
She does have some witty remarks with help from Amy Poehler (I am heartbroken by the recent divorce of her and Will Arnett, they seemed so perfect and happy) and Seth Meyers. Here are some great moments:
Actual quote from a reader letter: “As a leader of the cultural Zeitgeist, Vogue wields great power, and it’s heartening to see it used so responsibly.”
Page 428, Contributors. Could also be called Humblebrags.
Things I learned from this article: it used to be possible for writer/editors to afford apartments on Central Park West. The author calls Richard Avedon “Dick.” And it’s acceptable–in Vogue, at least–to use “oxygenated” to mean “attended a party.”
“The image [of model Lisa Taylor, by the aforementioned Helmut Newton] liberates women and focuses on Lisa Taylor gazing at a man’s shirtless body and fantasizing in a way that, until that point, we would only have seen men look at women. This story and the specific image indicate how Vogue has embodied female empowerment and beauty throughout the years.”
Okay. The image is just as Ford describes it, and though I’m not certain that picture is, in fact, liberating, I can see how it’s part of a change in the media’s depiction of women. Fair enough. But Vogue as the embodiment of female empowerment?
Has Tom Ford ever read Vogue? Hell, has he seen his own ads? Can he please tell me how a magazine upholding traditional standards of female beauty is in any way empowering? Perhaps he can mansplainexplain to me how fashion is creating equality, because I do not see it. At all.
I wasn’t expecting hard-line journalism about Blake Lively‘s perfume contract, but this article is more hagiography than anything else. Lively talks “maternally” to the intern at the press event; she is “most excited” to talk about Gucci Premiere, not her movie in theaters or the final season of Gossip Girl; she extends “her golden leg” for the makeup artist to rub bronzer on. You get the idea. Although I’m guessing tha Lively was in fact excited about talking about Gucci, because this was their event and they were paying her to promote their products. Seems fair.
My favorite part of this article so far is how writer Jonathan Van Meter will volunteer an opinion about Lady Gaga’s music or live performance, and she gets all excited and affirms that his instincts are exactly right. Sheesh.
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